Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
