Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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