Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
