Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
