That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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