just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
