Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Randomize
