I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
