but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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