me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
