If i could tip my vagina, i would.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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