Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
So much rum. So many feels.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
