I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
