i think my tv is drunk
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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