The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
