I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
