I can tuck mytits in my pants
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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