you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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