yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
