Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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