Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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