This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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