I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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