Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize