I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize