What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
