Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
