You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
