i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
