i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I can feel your judgement through the phone
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
