He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
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