he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
