STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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