the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
