Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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