I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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