i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
