is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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