No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
