I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
