So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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