after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
