I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
