D3 body, D1 cock
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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