Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
