i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
