need another drink. this is the easiest way
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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