So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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