the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
