mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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