We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize