Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
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