singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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