I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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