Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
