told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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