My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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