soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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