the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
