Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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