if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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