google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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