we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
