jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
