Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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