I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
