His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
